i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
