Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
