I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
