Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
