It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
