Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
