lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
