I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
