ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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