I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
