I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
