He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
