Can Purell be used as lube?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
