quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
