youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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