Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
