Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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