I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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