Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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