im about as happy as oj after his trial
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize