if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
