He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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