so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize