i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
