it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
