i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
