Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
