You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize