I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
