yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
