The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So many bounce houses so little time
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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