your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I need water and some morals
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
