Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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