I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
