I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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