just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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