I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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