we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
