things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This baby is an asshole
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
