You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
