just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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