The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
