you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
