I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
