my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
