Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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