doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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