remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
