I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
