i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
