Moan for me like Helen Keller
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
