You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
