dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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