You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
