Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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