That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
