bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
