I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
