i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
