HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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