honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
