I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Drake has all the answers
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize