one two three fourrrrnication!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
