but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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